


Sight

by madders



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-11
Updated: 2012-07-11
Packaged: 2017-11-09 16:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madders/pseuds/madders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jayne ponders...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sight

Sometimes Jayne wonders just what a man like Mal sees in him.

When he looks in the mirror, all he sees is what he’s always bin. A stone cold killer; merc for hire to the highest bidder.

‘Cepting he’s not, not no more.

T’ain’t no-one who can pay him enough now to make him turn his back on Serenity, on the rest of the crew, on Mal.

Oh, he won’t admit it. Not even to hisself really. But truth remains that he ain’t gonna do it. He ain’t stupid. And this ship, this crew, this family mean more to him than money. For the first time in his life he’s got something he’s gonna fight to keep.

But still, he ain’t sure what Mal sees in him.

Cos if he ain’t a mercenary for hire, he don’t rightly know what he is.

Since he left his family behind, he’s lived nuthin’ but violence, pain and danger. The only thing that he’s ever had to his name was his girls, his weapons. The only code he ever lived by was to put hisself first, ‘cause weren’t no-one else in the ‘verse who would.

Until now.

Now he’s got others who care. Who make sure he’s not hurt, who patch him up when he is. Who make sure he’s got food to eat and a place to sleep. Who don’t expect much in return ‘cepting for him to be hisself, and for him to give them his loyalty and trust.

Weren’t always that easy, was a time when he’d just as soon slit a man’s throat as trust ‘em. But then they… he came along and got under his skin and turned him on his head, stripped him of what he was. Yet they didn’t take nuthin’ away from him. If anything he’s more now than he was ‘afore.

But fact remains, he ain’t got a clue what Mal sees in him.

And then Mal will sidle up behind him, his reflection looking back at him and he’ll smile that private smile, the one only Jayne ever sees, and he’ll wrap his arms around his waist and press his lips to the scar on his shoulder all soft-like, and Jayne’ll stop thinking so much. T’ain’t never brought him nothing but trouble anyhow. Thinking is over-rated- Mal’d said to him once, and he agreed.

So he let hisself be pulled away from the sink mirror, and back inta the warmth of Mal’s arms and his bed, and to be taken back to that place where he didn’t hafta think no more.

No, he don’t know what Mal sees in him. But whatever it is, he’s damn glad he does.


End file.
